Posts Tagged ‘Temper’
Temper tantrums are normal for any child. Handling temper tantrums the right way is your responsibility as a parent. Even though some people refer to children starting tantrums as “the terrible 2s” they can start before then and can continue to school age if not dealt with properly.
Here are 10 parenting tips for handling temper tantrums:
1. Teach your child the right way to get what they want without throwing a tantrum. As an example, “Ask me to please hand you the stuffed bear off the shelf, and I will get it for you”
2. Let them know when playtime is going to end by telling them something like “We are leaving the park in 10 minutes. That way there is no shock when you tell your child playtime is over.
3. Remain calm during a child’s tantrum. If you are angry, this only shows to your child that you are out of control.
4. Keep a notepad with you and write down what you observe triggers different tantrums. You can then look over your notes later to figure out a strategy to help your child stop this behavior.
5. Praise and reward your child when they do positive things as often as you can. Only giving them attention for bad behavior will make them throw more tantrums in the future, since that is the main way of getting attention from you.
6. If the tantrum causes a safety issue such as running out in the street, immediately put them in time out or hold them and calmly tell them the dangers of their actions.
7. I know as a parent this is a hard one – but never give in to your child’s demands when they throw a tantrum, this is the quickest way to get them to believe that tantrums are the best way to get what they want.
8. When going out somewhere, talk to your child calmly beforehand and explain in detail how you expect them to act and the consequences if they don’t, such as time out or grounding from TV etc,.
9. Another hard one – try counting to 10 and think of the best way of handling temper tantrums your child is having instead of just blurting out the first thing that comes to your mind. Using you notes from your notepad will be a great help here.
10. Teach your child that anger is a feeling that all people have, but must learn to control.
Don’t feel like you are a bad parent if you don’t have a solution to every situation that arises with your child. All of us as parents must ask others questions, and do some studying to be the best parent we can be. Parenting like it or not, is a lifelong learning adventure.
Keep in mind there are many things that cause temper tantrums like your child’s age, if they are tired, a stressful environment such as a crowded mall, or they may just be hungry. Remember that tantrums are just as stressful on your child as they are on you. Print out this list to look at when you need help so you and your child can live a calmer, happier life together.
Get more help handling temper tantrums and many more tips to help you raise a happy and productive child in Donny Verkamp’s Parenting Life Blog at http://goodchildparenting.com/blog
Are you worried about your child’s tantrums? What can you do when you’ve tried everything? Inside you’ll find some tips to boost your parenting skills with difficult children.
Pretend You Have This Parenting Problem:
Your son is three years old and has a terrible temper. He simply does not listen to any thing you tell him to do and blatantly ignores anything you ask him to do. If you tell him not to do something he ignores you as well. You have tried everything from gentle persuasion, to bribing him, sending him to his room, taking his favorite toys from him, etc. but nothing seems to help.
You are afraid he will be labeled with behavioral problems when he goes to school.
If you’re the parent of a child who throws temper tantrums, please don’t think of him as a behavior problem. Do think of his behavior as a challenge for you to solve. Why? You are the parent.
Parenting Tips ~ Children Misbehave and Have Tantrums for These 4 Reasons:
Power ~ they want to get their way
Revenge ~ they want to get back at you for something
Attention ~ they want to be noticed
Helplessness ~ they want you to do things for them they can easily do themselves
As a parent, you’re task is to figure out why your child is having tantrums. This will guide you in the actions you take.
2 Important Parenting Questions for Dealing with Tantrums:
What positive benefit is my child gaining by his behavior?
Think about it. Talk it over with your spouse, a friend you trust, or a child counselor.
Then ask yourself:
How can he get his positive benefit without behaving badly?
The answers to these two questions should give you some ideas on the action to take. Perhaps you’ll use time out, take away a privilege, ignore him, or bond with him lovingly when he isn’t exploding. Whatever you choose to do, be consistent.
Example of a Tantrum Problem:
Let’s say you tell your child, “Put your toys away. We’re going to eat dinner soon.” He yells, “No, I don’t want dinner.” He starts screaming and throwing his toys instead of putting them away. What does he want? Is it power, revenge, attention, helplessness or a combination?
If his tantrums are frequent, you’re the best person to answer what he really wants. This is your challenge. No one knows and understands him better than you. This is also your opportunity to teach the kind of discipline that sets him free from his tantrum behavior.
Temper Tantrum Summary:
When you ask yourself the two questions above, don’t forget to take action with kindness and firmness. When you understand your child and make good choices you’ll be building character too.
Jean Tracy, MSS, invites you to subscribe to her FREE top-rated Parenting Newsletter, “Tips and Tools for Character Builders” at http://www.KidsDiscuss.com and receive 80 fun activities to share with your kids.
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