Posts Tagged ‘Child’
How do you teach your child to be dutiful to the parents; to be respectful and loving to the siblings; to be cautious with all people, matters and objects in our daily lives; to be trustworthy person; to love all beings equally; to be close to and learn from people of virtue and compassion?
How do you “teach” and “instill” virtues and values into your child? The so-called virtues and values are actually referring to the preference that determines one’s decision in making a selection when face with choices in life. For example, if your child has a hundred dollar and he is approached to donate the hundred dollar to the Earth Quake Disaster Fund, whether he will donate the hundred dollar to the Fund or prefer to keep the hundred dollar so that he can use it to replace his hand phone with a newer model, is dependent on his values system.
It is important to understand that the virtues and values are learned and built up through the actual life experiences; your child will therefore naturally learn the virtues and values through what he actually sees and the personal experiences that he undergoes in his life; he does not therefore learn the virtues and values solely from what is taught by the teachers or what is said by the parents. He learns from the actions of the role models that he associates with, who can be his parents, teachers, friends or anyone close to him. The parents therefore need to reflect upon themselves and review their own attitudes towards life so that they can become the right role model for the child to learn from.
In a recent school holiday, the Parents Association of a school organized an outing to the zoo for the students from different classes in the school. The parents responsible for food has prepared delicious sandwiches, burgers, and fried chickens. However, there were students who complained about the food and refused to eat them; and there were also students who take a few bites of the sandwiches or the fried chicken and threw them away as they complained that the taste does not satisfy their taste buds.
The parents responsible for food appeared to be very worried and kept pestering these students to take their food and even offer to buy them any food of their wish. However, there were also another group of students who commented, “Let them be if they refuse to eat the food that has been prepared, why do you need even to bother about them!” This same group of students was also very critical and criticized those who have wasted and thrown away the food without eating them. When approached and asked, this group of students replied, “We have a different value system in life!”
Ng Kim Siang
He is a Systems Analyst by profession and has spent a large part of his career managing large technology projects in the Banking industry. He holds a Master in Business Administration from the University of Bath UK and is currently pursuing a Diploma on Pre-School Educator Course. Visit his website now to discover more… http://www.TipsToEnrichYourLife.com/parenting
http://video.tipstoenrichyourlife.com/
What is right is right and what is wrong is wrong; there must not be any avenue that a wrong thing can be allowed just because the child gets the special permission from the “good guy” or any other avenues.
Parents need to communicate and have a common understanding on the methods to educate your child to achieve maximum effects. Is there a need for one to act as a “good guy” and the other to act as “bad guy” as advocated by some? I do not quite agree to use this method of acting “good guy” and “bad guy” to teach your child. In the up-bringing of your child, your child must have a clear understanding of the rules that govern all the activities in the home; what is right is right and what is wrong is wrong; there must not exist any avenue that a wrong thing can be allowed just because the child gets the special permission from the “good guy” or other avenues. The parents must have this common understanding on the method to be adopted in educating the child.
Parents may find it to be more difficult “not to give” than “to give” to their child. This could be attributed to the fact that the parents may not have the opportunity to enjoy these material things when they were small; and now that they have their child and the capability, they want to give the best of everything to their child. As a consequence of this thinking, the parents tend to buy anything for their child and send the child to learn anything which the parents consider to be good for the child. However, do the parents realize whether these are what the child wants or these are what the parents want as they were deprived of them when they were small? When the parents unconsciously regard “giving material things to the child” as a source of joy and happiness, they have also at the same time, deprived their child of their happiness.
Recollecting the time when I was small, I had to work hard in order to get or to earn the things that I want. When I finally get it, I am fully satisfied and I treasure it because it was obtained through my hard work and I had to go through the process of wanting, expecting, and working for it and finally getting it. The kind of joy and the sense of achievement are not describable by words. However, if the child is able to get things easily from you, the child would not be able to appreciate the joy of getting it and would therefore not be able to treasure it and be grateful for it. Worse still, he may develop the mind set of taking things for granted and take this as his god-given right and that it is your sole responsibility to give him.
Parents need to hold-back this great desire of giving everything to your child and need to work on a mutual understanding of allowing your child to work for it so that your child too can learn the process of working for the things that he wants and has the joy and gratitude when he finally achieves in getting what he wants.
Ng Kim Siang
He is a Systems Analyst by profession and has spent a large part of his career managing large technology projects in the Banking industry. He holds a Master in Business Administration from the University of Bath UK and is currently pursuing a Diploma on Pre-School Educator Course. Visit his website now to discover more…
http://www.TipsToEnrichYourLife.com/parenting
http://video.tipstoenrichyourlife.com/
Are you worried about your child’s tantrums? What can you do when you’ve tried everything? Inside you’ll find some tips to boost your parenting skills with difficult children.
Pretend You Have This Parenting Problem:
Your son is three years old and has a terrible temper. He simply does not listen to any thing you tell him to do and blatantly ignores anything you ask him to do. If you tell him not to do something he ignores you as well. You have tried everything from gentle persuasion, to bribing him, sending him to his room, taking his favorite toys from him, etc. but nothing seems to help.
You are afraid he will be labeled with behavioral problems when he goes to school.
If you’re the parent of a child who throws temper tantrums, please don’t think of him as a behavior problem. Do think of his behavior as a challenge for you to solve. Why? You are the parent.
Parenting Tips ~ Children Misbehave and Have Tantrums for These 4 Reasons:
Power ~ they want to get their way
Revenge ~ they want to get back at you for something
Attention ~ they want to be noticed
Helplessness ~ they want you to do things for them they can easily do themselves
As a parent, you’re task is to figure out why your child is having tantrums. This will guide you in the actions you take.
2 Important Parenting Questions for Dealing with Tantrums:
What positive benefit is my child gaining by his behavior?
Think about it. Talk it over with your spouse, a friend you trust, or a child counselor.
Then ask yourself:
How can he get his positive benefit without behaving badly?
The answers to these two questions should give you some ideas on the action to take. Perhaps you’ll use time out, take away a privilege, ignore him, or bond with him lovingly when he isn’t exploding. Whatever you choose to do, be consistent.
Example of a Tantrum Problem:
Let’s say you tell your child, “Put your toys away. We’re going to eat dinner soon.” He yells, “No, I don’t want dinner.” He starts screaming and throwing his toys instead of putting them away. What does he want? Is it power, revenge, attention, helplessness or a combination?
If his tantrums are frequent, you’re the best person to answer what he really wants. This is your challenge. No one knows and understands him better than you. This is also your opportunity to teach the kind of discipline that sets him free from his tantrum behavior.
Temper Tantrum Summary:
When you ask yourself the two questions above, don’t forget to take action with kindness and firmness. When you understand your child and make good choices you’ll be building character too.
Jean Tracy, MSS, invites you to subscribe to her FREE top-rated Parenting Newsletter, “Tips and Tools for Character Builders” at http://www.KidsDiscuss.com and receive 80 fun activities to share with your kids.
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Could 3 parenting tips turn your “I-can’t” kid into an “I-can” child? You bet. Look inside for 3 parenting tips you can use today.
Whose fault is it when your child acts helpless? If there’s a person who treats your child like a prince or princess and does too much for your child, tell that person to stop. They’re making your child, weak, dependent, and helpless.
Why Kids Act Helpless
Your Sally wants to get out of chores. She whines, “It’s too much! You make me do everything!” You can’t stand your princess being upset, so you make the bed and put away most of the toys while
Sally drags her feet. Since the whining worked, Sally will whine again to get out of chores. Rescuing your child is a great way to teach helplessness.
Your Sam hates homework and cries, “It’s too hard.” He goes to you, Dad, and makes a big fuss. You can’t stand the crying, so you grab the homework and yell, “Get out of here!” You just want peace and quiet. Sam learns that crying works. You do the homework and he runs out to play. Rescuing your Sam is a super way to teach him how to move through life without trying.
When your child whines, cries, or complains and you or someone else runs to the rescue, your child learns to be helpless. He’ll use those tactics over and over.
How do you break the cycle of helplessness?
First Parenting Tip – Avoid doing for your child what your child can do for himself
Why? When you or someone else jumps in to rescue, you’re telling your child, “You’re right. You can’t do it. You’re helpless. I’ll do it for you.” You’ve taught him to give up easily, become a whiner, and drown in a sea of helplessness. Sadly he may never know the good feeling of accomplishment.
Second Parenting Tip – Use the technique, “First this, then that”
When Sally wants to watch TV, say, “First clean your room, then you can watch TV.
When Sam wants to eat a snack, say, “First do your homework, then you can make yourself a snack.”
Don’t let crying and whining break you down. Be respectful and firm when you use, “First this, then that.” Be consistent too.
Third Parenting Tip – Use your eyes to see and your tongue to encourage.
Remember your child wants to feel loved and respected just like you do. So use your eyes to see what your child is trying to do well. Be encouraging when your child tries. Your child will love your words and be more willing to try more things.
How to encourage your child to say, “I can!”
When your child is whining, crying, and trying to get you to do his responsibilities say words like:
You’re good at figuring things out.
You have a big, strong brain.
You can do it.
I know you can because you’ve done it before.
I believe in you.
Some parents say, “I’m not going to baby my child with such praise. She should just do what I tell her.”
To those parents I say, “If what you’re doing isn’t working, what have you got to lose by trying these parenting tips?
Conclusion for Turning Your “I-Can’t” Kid into an “I-Can” Child
Don’t let your child drown in a sea of helplessness. Rescue less, encourage more by following these parenting tips -
Avoid doing for your child what your child can do for himself.
Use the technique, “First this then that.”
Encourage your child’s positive efforts.
Be consistent, firm, and kind in your efforts. If you do, you won’t be complaining, “My child acts helpless!” You’ll be building character instead. You can do it. I know you can.
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Having a child with ADHD can be chaotic, frustrating, and test limits of the most patient parent. Remember your child’s behavior is not intentional and they want to behave; sometimes their body and mind just doesn’t allow it.
Continuing to focus on what is positive about your child, and believing they are more than ADHD, will keep things in perspective. Keeping the following parenting tips for ADHD in mind will provide further benefits.
Parenting Tips ADHD 101:
The Three R’s: Routine, Rituals, Repetition
Routine: Have specific times and routines for activities. Children with ADHD need the security of knowing what to expect and when to expect it.
Rituals: Rituals make transitions easier. Rituals for homework, preparing for the day, and bedtime, will help ADHD children prepare for what’s next. An example is bedtime. Having a set bedtime ritual prepares them for actually going to bed.
Repetition: Remember that children with ADHD have problems with organization, completing tasks, and controlling impulses. Keeping the same routine, having your home organized and keeping things in the same place, will help your child learn important skills they are lacking.
Additionally, being consistent with punishment and rewards further aids the child with ADHD behaviors.
Other parenting tips for ADHD in the home: provide opportunities for exercise and keep the diet healthy. Make sure your child has sufficient sleep and opportunities to unwind at the end of the day. Decrease television and caffeine; increase quiet activities to keep them from getting wound up. Consider treating your child with homeopathic remedies. Homeopathic remedies are proven to be safer, just as effective, yet less costly than prescription ADHD drugs.
Additional parenting tips for ADHD: take care of yourself. MAKE time for yourself. Exercise with a friend, talk a walk after dinner, indulge in a warm bath with a good book, and find time to spend away from home.
Rested and restored parents are better able to tackle issues associated with ADHD and maintain consistency in the home.
Additional parenting tips for ADHD:
School is difficult place for children with ADHD. These parenting tips ADHD will help your child at school:
? Stay involved and be present often.
? Your child needs a structured, organized, disciplined classroom.
? Know the rights of your child: insure appropriate interventions are used in the classroom.
? Speak out: If you are not comfortable with school provisions, make the appropriate people aware. You are your child’s best advocate.
Using these parenting tips for ADHD will benefit both parent and child in creating a relaxed, inviting home environment.
Shannon Pollock is a health enthusiast who specializes in natural remedies. She has researched and written extensively on ADHD. Discover which ADHD treatments Shannon has found to be the most successful and the safest to use on her website: Natural-Health-Remedies-and-More.