Archive for February, 2011
Even though we need a license to do many things in life — everything from driving and operating a forklift to practicing medicine and fishing — there is no license required to become a parent and this is often the trickiest of all of the above activities!
Parenting today is far more difficult than it was, even a generation ago. Many well-intentioned parents are using outdated and ineffective parenting styles. As a result, they experience daily frustration and stress in their home.
Below you will find my top 7 tips for good parenting. These tips inspire children to want to be well behaved, can reduce family fights and boost family joy.
Good Parenting Tip #1 – If you love your kids–put yourself first!
One of the best things we can do for our children is to give them a foundation for becoming a happy and healthy adult. Self-care should not be a luxury for parents–it needs to become a necessity. You need self-care both for being a good parent and a healthy and balanced human being. Far too many children are living with parents who are stressed out and frankly, not at all fun to be around. If you are repeatedly burning the midnight oil, you may be on the brink of parent burnout–not a pleasant thing for you or your family to experience.
Good Parenting Tip #2 – If married–put your marriage before your kids!
Most of us have heard of Generation X and Generation Y. But did you realize that Generation S–Generation Spoiled–is on the rise? Many children today are raised with an unhealthy sense of entitlement because their parents have made them the center of the universe. With divorce statistics still hovering around 50%, children are far too often coping with unhappy, failing marriages and divorce- much worse for them than missing out on a couple of toys or brand name jeans. Take a stand and put some time into your marriage (like go on a date night)–for your whole family’s sake!
Good Parenting Tip #3 – Cherish your children
No matter what your situation–no matter how often your children drive you crazy–know there are thousands of people in this world who would gladly trade places with you. There are couples who would give anything to just have a child. Strive to remember how truly fortunate you are. Hug your children at least three times a day. Regularly tell them how grateful you are to have the opportunity to be their parent.
Good Parenting Tip #4 – Teach your kids to fish–don’t fish for them!
Many parents do everything for their kids. This only robs their children of the opportunity to learn self-reliance–which is vital to building their self-esteem. One of the best things you can do is to help your kids learn how to do things for themselves. One of the chapters of my first book on effective parenting is called “How To Get Your Kids Doing Their Chores Smiling“. Some parents think I am from another planet when I even suggest that kids can learn to do chores with a smile on their face. These same doubting parents are often happily surprised when they see it is possible–in their own home and in this century! Household chores teach basic life skills everyone needs to know. Also, chores give children the opportunity to contribute to the household in a positive and meaningful way.
Good Parenting Tip #5 – Focus on what you like, not on what you don’t
If children aren’t being appreciated and aren’t getting attention for what they do well–and when they behave well–you better believe they will learn to get attention for not behaving well. The more you notice what you like about what they’re doing, the less likely they are to morph into destructive little terrors and the more likely you will inspire your child to repeat the good behaviors and achievements you love.
Good Parenting Tip #6 – Give respect and expect it in return
Don’t do anything to your child that you wouldn’t want your child to do to you. The list of things you don’t want to be doing includes: yelling, hitting, spitting, and put downs. There are far better ways for you to handle conflict, stress and common misbehaviors. Commit to learning these “Ultimate Parenting” tools that are based on mutual respect–not fear based punishment that only teaches our kids to not get caught next time!
Good Parenting Tip #7 – A family that plays together stays together!
Have fun–play with your kids. Laughing, tickling, and enjoying one another’s company is the foundation of a happy home. Having fun can go a long way towards preventing much of the needless conflict and behaviors that drive you crazy. It also provides your family with much needed quality time.
These seven effective parenting tips above are child-proofed, effective and fun. By taking the time to learn how to bring out the best in you and in your children, you will reap the rewards that come from the peace of mind–knowing that you did all you could to support and nurture a happy and healthy family life.
Kelly Nault-Matzen, MA, family counselor, corporate parenting spokesperson and award winning parenting author of When You?re About To Go Off The Deep End, Don?t Take Your Kids With You shares time-tested tools that motivate children to want to be well behaved, responsible and happy! To gain access to more parenting tools and to access your free online parenting course visit http://www.ultimateparenting.com
As children we were hopefully all taught the value of a dollar; that the amount of work we put in will determine our reward. But in a day and age where children seem more materialistic than ever, it can be increasingly difficult to instill the proper values in our children. There are several parenting tips that experts agree will go a long way to ensuring your child has an appropriate and healthy attitude towards money.
First and foremost, gift giving and receiving is one of childhood’s most important lessons. More and more children’s parties – abbreviated to fit into an hour and a half at a location away from home – have simply eliminated the tradition of opening presents in front of party guests. Sadly, this has also eliminated a truly priceless lesson for children.
Parenting tips of merit include offering your children a multitude of opportunities to give and receive gifts politely. Not only does this offer an invaluable lesson in social graces but it makes a significant point about the value of money. If children are involved in purchasing their friends’ gifts – including staying within a budgetary limit – they discover how much things really cost. Additionally they can witness firsthand how much joy the gift has given their friend.
Conversely, when your child receives a gift, they will be more inclined to express their appreciation for it because they realize what a short distance a dollar can stretch. They can learn to accept a present graciously – even if it’s not exactly what they wanted. The gift is in the thought not in the dollar value attached to it. This is one of the most important parenting tips in existence.
Additional parenting tips concerning the value of money include the attachment of values to everyday events. For example, a family outing does not have to be expensive to be worthwhile and fun. Teach your children the value of spending time together. Spending the day at a public park can be just as much fun as spending the day at a pricey amusement park.
Parenting tips that most experts agree upon include the importance of steering clear of monetary rewards attached to expected chores. Getting paid to make his/her bed will likely not teach your child any valuable lessons. Certain jobs around the house are expected – we all have to do our part to ensure that our homes run smoothly. Teach your children that your family is a unit that requires the effort of each team member for it to be successful. If you wish to offer chores above and beyond everyday household jobs at a set allowance then by all means do so. But keep one of the most important parenting tips in mind: paying your child to do what is already expected is looked at like a bribe and will ultimately not be valued.
But the greatest parenting tips that can be offered include the importance of listening to your child’s attitudes about money. You may be surprised by how your attitude has been passed seamlessly to your children. Value money and your children will value it as well.
For easy to understand, in depth information about parenting visit our ezGuide 2 Parenting.
If you have ever read any parenting books, then you have probably read that spending quality time with your child is the way to help ensure that they grow up healthy and well adjusted. While this is basically true there are other issues. Sometimes this quality time will consist of going to the movies or out to eat and that only takes a short amount of time. There are some parenting tips that you can use that will show you how to make both quality and quantity of time work for you and the kids.
Spending quality time is often the prime focus for single parents and divorced ones who only see their children on a limited basis. They will tend to try to compensate for not being there all the time by doing fun things like going to Disneyland. However, when they are asked about more personal matters such as how their child is doing in school they are not completely up to speed on that front. Keep in mind that when you feel guilty over the inability to do something for or with your child and then try to make it up through some kind of compensatory deed it can end in unwanted results.
When a parent tries to overcompensate for their feelings of guilt they tend to act more like a friend rather than one. When this happens it can actually have a detrimental affect on child behavior. Parenting tips point out that this happens because the child will sometimes model themselves after the parent who is exhibiting this behavior, thus resulting in them feeling like a victim.
Because life is so full of worry, activity and hurry, many parenting resources stress the importance of being able to spend that quality time with our children. However, this can also come from the guilty feeling that a parent gets because they will often push the kids to the back of their minds. This translates to “yes I will spend time with my child after I finish this project or chore” etc., which results in the children becoming part of a “to do” list more than anything else.
While it is fine to take your kids out to the movies, dinner or even Disney World, it is not a substitute for proper parenting that is necessary for healthy child development. Many of the parenting tips do point out that while the fun activities are good you also need to be there for your child at all times, including the rough times that you may go through. Try to be more available to them even during hectic times.
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Anyone with an ADHD child can certainly use some helpful parenting tips for ADHD. After all, who wouldn’t want to get ideas from others about effective treatments and parenting styles, and to get a glimpse of the effort that other parents exert to ensure that their child is given the best care.
It is a constant effort to take care of a child with ADHD, with the constant need for directions, follow up, and supervision. Some of the parenting tips for ADHD you hear may seem obvious, but sometimes we just need to be reminded.
Life can get busy and hectic and sometimes a step back is in order. It can be disheartening to see lack of improvement in behavior. It can dampen a parent’s spirit to see their child struggling with school work, house chores, and other simple activities.
With this list of parenting tips ADHD is sure to be less troublesome for the family.
Tip #1 Keep it short and simple.
Children with ADHD find it hard to follow directions. Instructions need to be kept short, simple, and clear. Long explanations will not work as they have a short attention span.
Tip #2 Do not dislike the child, rather, dislike the disorder.
It is not your child’s fault that he has ADHD. He needs your patience and understanding however annoying or irritating he can be. This is not him talking, it is his ADHD. Remember the three symptoms of ADHD, hyperactivity, impulsivity, and inattention.
Tip #3 Keep your hopes up, your expectations reasonable.
Don’t give up on your child who has ADHD. He needs you. Focus on his efforts, praise him and hug him every time he does something good and appropriate. Do not focus too much on grades and academic achievement. Accept that he may have limitations but acknowledge his efforts.
Tip #4 Patience is a virtue.
Treatments for ADHD are not miracles. They need time to take effect. Behavioral therapy takes several sessions and even the use of homeopathic medications may take 3-6 weeks before a decrease in ADHD symptoms can be observed.
Tip #5 Nature is still the best cure.
Prescription drugs seem to be the first thing many doctors suggest to parents of kids with ADHD. There are better options available. There are natural treatments available. Treatments like homeopathic remedies. Homeopathic remedies are not only natural and safe, but effective as well.
There you have it. Five parenting tips for ADHD management that I hope can be of use to you and your family. Sometimes, just knowing that someone cares for you can do great wonders.
Shannon Pollock is a health enthusiast who specializes in natural remedies. She has researched and written extensively on ADHD. Discover which ADHD treatments Shannon has found to be the most successful and the safest to use on her website: Natural-Health-Remedies-and-More.com.
I am introducing the 10 Parenting Tips that can become your blueprint to family success. Focus on these 10 parenting tips and you will propel your children to their places of greatness. That’s a pretty bold statement to make, but we stand behind it.
So let’s do a little math here. Ten tips at 2 minutes each equals 20 minutes to the best children and the wisest parents in the world. Not so fast, algebra-breath.
You can, however, make real progress towards these 2 goals by using these parenting tips as a blueprint. Commit to 2 minutes a day on each of these tips until you have a plan that fits your family. Successful children and wise parenting will not happen by magic. It can and WILL happen through your commitment and wise strategies.
These tips are designed to get you:
A) Thinking about parenting in a new way, and
B) To do a little planning ahead.
OK, here they are. Each tip will beckon you to create a simple action plan to work on. And keep coming back to this list to check on your progress. Please be patient with yourself ans you devote 2 minutes a day, using your personal planner to jot down thoughts on how to grow in each of these areas.
The Top 10 Tips for Parents related to success for your family are:
1) Marital unity and family togetherness,
2) The value of faith and morals,
3) Showering one another with encouragement,
4) Discipline with calmness,
5) Living a healthy lifestyle with diet and exercise,
6) Parental responsibility for education,
7) Protecting your family from negative influences,
Preparation for careers and finances,
9) Friendships and dating guidelines,
10) Discovering destinies and roles for your children.
Take your time with each one of these tips until you feel comfortable putting each of them into practice.
You now have a working plan with these 10 parenting tips. Learn how celebration and providing fun opportunities with the BIBLICAL FEASTS are important aspects of wise parenting.